Saturday, June 29, 2019

Ornery Recipe Fails: Brown Lemonade and Dying Beets

Image by Maja Cvetojević from Pixabay
This ain't how Ornery's lemonade looked.

Howdy Folks, it's yer old pal, Ghost Town Grover! Ya know, at first I wasn't too keen to have a bunch of live ones at the ole Grover Hotel, but now I'm pleased as punch that Ornery's son done took possession of the ole place and is aimin' to fix it up. Ornery says it's gonna be a while 'fore they can actually move in 'cause of all of the red tape with the historical people who's supposed to help 'em out with some money, but they's comin' up here tomorrow to install some sort of securing lights and put up some No Trespassing signs.
Anyway, I breezed on down to the ole townhouse in Denver to pay a visit, and I found Ornery mixin' up some lemonade. But this lemonade didn't look how lemonade ought.
"Ornery," I said, "I don't wanna be rude, but that there lemonade is brown."
"Yes, Grover, that's because I used coconut sugar," Ornery said.
"Well, does that make it taste better?" I asked. "'Cause it sure looks awful!"
"I don't know. I'll have to shake it up and see," Ornery said. "But coconut sugar is better for my diabetes than regular sugar because it has a lower glycemic impact."
"Ornery, I'm real sorry to hear you have dying beets," I said. "Say, just where at in the body is the beets? Is it one of them secret lady things that us men ain't supposed to ask about?"
"Grover, diabetes is the name of a disease," Ornery said. "It means I have a dead pancreas, so I have to inject insulin to make up for it."
"Well, I reckon I'm glad you got insulum to make up fer yer dead pancrees," I said. "Looks like yer lemonade's all shook up, Ornery. Bein' as I'm a gentleman, I'll let you go ahead an' taste it first."
Ornery tasted the brown lemonade and made a sour face.
"Well, Grover, coconut sugar doesn't really work too good in lemonade," she said. "I'll have to try another kind of sweetener."
"Aw, that's all right, Ornery," I said. "I'll take it home fer Cactus Clem. If I put a little of Cuzzin Hildy-Bob and Virgil-Joe's premium moonshine in it, that sucker won't care if it's made with ditch water!"
I left Ornery to try and get a few winks 'fore she picks up her car in the morning and heads over to the Home Dee-pot with her son to pick up them security lights fer the ole place. I'm sure lookin' forward to gittin' things spruced up 'round here!

Yer ole pal,
Ghost Town Grover





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