Monday, December 9, 2019

Ornery Reviews: Bittergate 2: The Wizard's Bane



Genre:
Modern Fantasy

Rating:
Five out of Five Stars

Disclosure:
If readers purchase a copy of the book through the preview link, I will receive a small commission from Amazon.

The following is a duplicate of my review for Amazon, Booksprout, and Goodreads. 
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

The intense modern fantasy which took shape in Bittergate 1 continues with The Wizard's Bane. Although there are many fascinating characters in this moving and intricate tale, Drake is the one who, without a doubt, steals the show. This charming shape-shifting dragon is put to the test as he attempts to put right the wrongs done by the Wizard's Bane, the renegade band of centaurs intent on destroying Jedadiah Shine and all that is precious to him. Drake encounters new friends and enemies during his adventures. Meanwhile, the evil Zero is intent on continuing his quest for vengeance as well.
There is great peril at every turn in the secret mystical world which exists in tandem with the mundane world. The level of care taken in crafting this world and the characters that dwell therein is evident. For those who enjoy a detailed yet never boring story filled with sorcery, this book is sure to please.


Free Use Image from Pixabay
Will work for tips and links



Saturday, December 7, 2019

Haikai Challenge #116 + Haiku My Heart: Cold Moon



the cold moon looks down
on a quiet little town
as the year runs out

~Cie~




Notes:
The Haiga and the Haikai Challenge logo were both created using stock images and the free Pixlr online photo editor. If you share the Haiga, please credit me. Please feel free to use the Haikai Challenge logo, no credit necessary.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Carpe Diem #1791: Bare Branches


bare branches
a painting against the blue sky
leaves under my feet
crunch foretelling coming snow
chill breeze blowing through the air

bare branches like claws
reach into the great unknown
hard winter ahead
too little snow or too much
the wind chills me to my bones

the blue sky turns gray
the snow begins to fall down
blown by the cold wind
I retreat inside the house
the cold tries to reach me there

the leaves are long gone
to the earth or raked away
nothing can linger
things that lose their youthful shine
are hidden away from view

unforgiving sky
tells of foul weather to come
thankful for warning
I plan my week according
to the weather prophecy

chill breeze cuts through me
its cruelty refreshing
brutal honesty
the winter shows no mercy
to anything in its path

~Cie~


Notes:
The Hokku of the first verse was written by Yozakura the Unknown Haiku Poet. The rest can be attributed to me.

Carpe Diem #1790: Sunset Flowers


seen for a moment
in the last of the sunlight
sparkling wet flowers

~Cie~


Notes:
Here is the poem by Matsuo Basho (1644 - 1694) provided for inspiration.

in the twilight rain
these brilliant-hued hibiscus -
a lovely sunset.

The Ornery Old Lady's Tackle It Tuesday: Best Bread Machine Buns


If you're tired of overpriced grocery store burger buns and have a bread machine, this very simple recipe is for you. If you don't have a bread machine, Grover can hook you up with one here in his General Store. This inexpensive investment will save you a lot of time in the kitchen!

This is a slight variation on the original recipe from Food.com using honey instead of sugar. With a small substitution of honey for sugar, there is no need to reduce the volume of liquid. If you are wanting to substitute larger amounts of honey for sugar, this handy conversion chart from Billy Bee will help you.

And now, without further ado, here is the recipe.

1 1⁄4
cups milk, slightly warmed

1
beaten egg

2
tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons + 2 teaspoons of honey

3⁄4
teaspoon salt

3 3⁄4
cups bread flour

1 1⁄4
teaspoons active dry yeast

Place all ingredients, except butter, in pan of bread machine according to manufacturer's directions.
Select dough setting.
When cycle is complete, turn out onto floured surface.
Cut dough in half and roll each half out to a 1" thick circle.
Cut each half into six 3 1/2" rounds with inverted glass as a cutter.
Place on greased baking sheet far apart and brush with melted butter.
Cover and let rise until doubled, about one hour.
Bake at 350° for 9 minutes.
Note: Oven temperatures vary so check after 9 minutes to see if done. Some reviewers baked these anywhere from 12 to 30 minutes.

Ornery Notes:
When it's time to let the buns rise, I put the buns uncovered in the oven on the "keep warm" setting (145 degrees Fahrenheit). I have a dual oven, which is very handy. If you don't have such a thing (I never did before, it was left behind by the previous occupants of the Grover Hotel), or if your oven's lowest temperature setting isn't low enough (I wouldn't recommend anything over 175 degrees at the outside because then the dough will start cooking) it's perfectly fine to use the traditional rising method.

You can experiment with different types of flours to get different flavors. I'm planning to do a wheat-white blend. At this point, I just have a big bag of all-purpose flour and it works fine.

I use reconstituted powdered whole milk. It's shelf-stable and, unless you have family members who drink milk, it's a better investment than milk from the dairy case. I cook with dairy milk but don't drink it and there would be times when it would go bad. With powdered milk, the problem is solved! I use whole milk powder because skim milk doesn't work for making pudding.

If you have family members who are allergic to eggs, don't despair! Grover always has egg substitute here in his General Store.

I hope you enjoy this recipe. It's really easy to make, it just takes a little time to let the buns rise. They taste so much better than store-bought buns. There's just no going back!

If you order products from Grover's General Store at the end of the post, we earn a small commission to keep the lights on and the kitchen cookin' here at the Grover Hotel!

~Cie the Ornery Old Lady~


Monday, December 2, 2019

Baked Oatmeal - Lou Lou Girls

Baked Oatmeal - Lou Lou Girls: Start Your Morning With Easy Baked Oatmeal, It Is The Perfect Healthy Breakfast And Will Keep You Full For Hours! Make A Big Pan And Reheat All Week!  Lisa came home from school one day and told me that one of the cheer moms had made this amazing baked oatmeal recipe and she was pretty … Continue reading 'Baked Oatmeal'

Cie the Ornery and Hungry Old Lady Sez:
This would also be faboo as a cobbler topping. Just pour a can of pie filling into your 8 X 8 or 9 X 9 greased pan, top it with this, and bake as directed in the recipe!

Battle of the Poems 2019: Day 1

Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay

The rules are simple! Leave a comment telling me which poem you like best.

Poem 1:
Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time
I dreamed
once upon a time
he was
but now there's nothing left
except the misery
as summer disappears
and the barkers burst the colorful balloons
and take down the faire
players only love you
when you bring them money
gas, grass, or ass
no-one rides for free
little boys grow up
become corrupt
use and throw away
stupid girls
once upon a time
I believed in something
once upon a time
I thought someone waited for me
now I know the truth
the only one waiting 'round the corner
to put his arms around me
is death
that no matter where I am
I'm just two steps ahead of that man
some days I'm philosophical
some days I'm scared out of my fucking mind
and some days I'd welcome the bastard
with open arms
once upon a time
you were mine
you loved this wretched, broken thing
but like a leaf on the breeze you blew away
some things are too corrupted to love 
I thought I saw you coming back to me
but then I woke from my dream
the fairytale disappeared
in a puff of smoke
like Little Jackie Paper
you snuffed out your dreams of Puff
dragons aren't real
magic only exists in fairy tales
and love is nothing but a lie
once upon a time
I believed in happy ever after
now I only believe
that dreams vanish
and hearts break
and
everything
dies

~

Poem 2
Alpha to Omega

all alone adrift
boiling bad blood brew
chewing cyanide capsules
drinking death's draught
exhaling exotic excitotoxins
feeling fancy-free
gladly grabbing green
hoarding hazy hemlock
incinerating incriminating images
jaded joy juxtaposed
kicking kaleidoscopic kings
love long lost
makes me mad
nothing nice nevermore
only old offerings
placate pagan poltergeists
quietly quaffing quince
rebellious rogues repel
sweetly singing satyrs
thrilling tap-dancing troubadours
unique undines undulate
vanquishing vicious villains
while winsome warblers
xor xanthic xenophobes
yesterday's yearning youth
zap zingy Zambonis

Which one do you choose? One or two? You can leave an explanation, or just say which one you like.

Remember, whoever participates the most often will receive a $5 Amazon gift card. In the event of a tie, I will invoke the mighty coin, dice, or what have you.

~Cie~

Sunday, December 1, 2019

We're back!

What Lunch Looked Like

How y'all am are? I was not expecting to be back so soon, but, as fate would have it, I'm here and so are you! So, let's do this!

After spending a freezing night without power in the old Grover Hotel, the Ornery Old Lady (that's me) and Sonny Boy headed to Greeley to gather up some supplies in case we were looking at another night to a week or more of this. We stopped at Taco John's, a place I haven't been to in some 35 years. In fact, that's where I made my last post from!

I was glad to find that Taco John's still tastes the same, but the price about knocked me out of the ballpark. Twenty bucks for a chicken quesadilla, a stuffed taco, Potato Ole's, drinks, and some guacamole, queso, and sour cream. Honestly, it's not that bad for today's prices, but I can remember when I was in high school and would go to Taco John's instead of eating the cafeteria swill. I'd have five bucks on me and get a whole meal and still get change back. Well, so it goes.

We went to Home Depot and bought a propane-powered space heater and looked into getting a backup generator. We picked up a snow shovel, which I thought was steel. It was aluminum and it bent easily. Not a winner there. We got a flashlight and a mini lantern. Then we headed to visit my son's second cousins on his father's side. They said that if the power was going to be out for a while, we could bring the cats and stay with them.

We hit the King Soopers to get some nonperishables like crackers and tinned kippers and then headed for home.

My son was reading the instructions for the space heater and I was getting the snow shovel out of the car when he came running out in an excited mood. The power was back on! I looked down the street to see the blinking red light just beyond the general store, and it never looked so beautiful!

It's still colder than a well-digger's ass in the old Hotel, but the furnace is back on and the temperature is rising. I've got salmon, potatoes, and corn in the oven. I also have (I hope) a fun opportunity.

I am going to need help deciding which poems to put in my manuscript for the November PAD Chapbook Challenge. So, for the next month, I will be having a Battle of the Poems. I will put up two poems, and I would like readers to decide which of the two they prefer. You can give me a reason, or just say "I like number (one or two) best." 

There will be a prize as an incentive for helping me. 

The person who comments on the most poems will receive a $5 Amazon gift card in their email. In the event that there is a tie, I will use a coin, dice, or Random Number Generator to help me choose.

I think this will be fun, and I hope I can get a few people to play along.

The first Battle of the Poems will appear tomorrow!

~Cie~


Saturday, November 30, 2019

Friday Flashback: Inbox Dollars Tips: Search with Inbox Dollars

Young Richard Tracy knows that using Inbox Dollars search will earn him easy money for doing something he was already going to do.
(Free image from pixabay.com)

Click the banner to share a Friday Flashback

This post was originally published on 29 November 2018 on Aunt Cie's Attic (formerly Deliver Me.) 

Disclosure: I am a member of and affiliate for Inbox Dollars. I am not going to get rich finding people to sign up for Inbox Dollars using my link. I will make a small commission. 
Inbox Dollars is one of the longest-running GPT sites. It is legitimate. You are not going to get rich signing up for Inbox Dollars. You will make a few dollars here and there. The payout is at $30. 

I've been taking surveys with Inbox Dollars for several years, but I only recently explored all the other ways of making money with Inbox Dollars.

One of the easiest ways is by using the Inbox Dollars search page. When you log into your account, there is a menu bar at the top of the main page. Choose the search option, and, voila, you will be earning for searches you were going to make anyway. It's that simple!

I find that the Inbox Dollars search works better on my computer than my phone. The page sometimes takes forever to load on my iPhone's Safari browser. So I generally play the mini-games on my phone instead. Yes, Inbox Dollars has games that they pay you to play! Who knew?

I'm currently stuck on level 23 of the bubble monkey game. Those stupid skulls suck, and so does my manual dexterity, let's be real.

The search page and the games (especially my beloved bubble monkey game) are just two reasons why Inbox Dollars is my favorite paid survey app. It's much more than paid surveys, and it is a legitimate survey company, unlike some I have had the misfortune of dealing with.

~Cie~

Friday, November 29, 2019

Heeding Haiku: Senryu: Runaway Steam Engine


doing much too much
the steam engine of my mind
runs over my dreams

~Cie~


Carpe Diem #1789: Winter Trees

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

axe unfolding wood
the lumberjack's hand brings down
winter trees on snow

axe unfolding wood
scent of oils rising from bark
mighty giants fallen

the lumberjack's hand brings down
sturdy wood to build new homes
and for furniture

winter trees on snow
they can serve the people well
if culled thoughtfully

~Cie~


Sustainable forestry practices allow us to live in harmony with nature.


Notes:
This Troiku was created from a fusion Haiku inspired by a pair of Haiku by Yosa Buson (1716 - 1784).

cutting into with the ax,
I was surprised at the scent.
the winter trees.

unfolding at the
hand of the glass polisher:
a camellia!

© Yosa Buson

Thursday, November 28, 2019

November PAD Chapbook Challenge 2019: Day 28: Grateful

Image by Matthias Cooper from Pixabay

grateful for what's here
a town far from everything
life in an old house
impossible dreams fade out
bittersweet acceptance in

~Cie~

Notes:
Today's November PAD Chapbook Challenge prompt asked for a Gratitude poem.

People, you know me. I am not the sort to write heartwarming, Chicken Soup for the Soul, grateful for God and family and Better Homes and Gardens type poetry. I am an agnostic curmudgeon, and the only miracle here is that I'm still alive. They ain't found a way to kill me yet, and neither have I. I believe there is something that survives the death of the corporeal body, and I believe there are advanced spiritual forces which could be termed higher powers. I don't like the Church God, and although I'm willing to judge his followers on a case by case basis, I tend to be mightily skeptical of them.

I was raised Catholic and am the black sheep of a family that tried way too hard to keep up appearances. Today is the ninth anniversary of my father's passing. Although we had a sometimes contentious relationship and he passed his own insecurities down to me, he was a devoted father and I love him. I am glad he isn't suffering anymore. The last five years of his life were increasingly difficult. In the end, he really wasn't himself anymore.

I want to call my mother today. My mother is a loyal person who is too wrapped up in keeping up appearances to see the damage that mindset does. She has no idea who I actually am or what I'm really doing because anytime I have tried to tell her, she shuts me down and criticizes me, so I just let her think what she wants.

My brother and I were once the greatest of friends but now have a civil but distant relationship. 

I love my son with all my heart and soul. There are some hurts from the past from when my mental illness was as yet undiagnosed and my behavior was chaotic.

Leonard Cohen wrote the line "It's Father's Day and everybody's wounded."

I think the same could be said for most holidays.

If you're having a Better Homes and Gardens Thanksgiving, that's great, and I hope you enjoy it. I would just ask that you realize that this is not the case for everyone, and those of us who are unable to have Shiny Happy Holidays are not bad people or just feeling sorry for ourselves for attention. The hurt is real.



Just to lighten the load a bit, here's one of my favorites:

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Carpe Diem #1778: Moonlight Rail

Image by Myriam Zilles from Pixabay

flying in moonlight
trains travel the winter night
father sings his tale

~Cie~


Notes:
Today we were asked to revise a Haiku by Masaoka Shiki (14 October 1867 - 19 September 1902). I believe my verse is more an interpretation inspired by Shiki's original poem than a revision. In a time gone by nearly 50 years ago now, my father (31 May 1936 - 28 November 2010) would play his guitar and sing old railway and folk songs. The ninth anniversary of my father's passing is tomorrow and I wrote this poem to honor him.


the wild geese take flight
low along the railroad tracks
in the moonlit night

© Masaoka Shiki

The Ornery Old Lady's WTF Wednesday: So Much Fail...


Dundas Jafine BTD48TC Vents, 4-Inch

So, I ordered the above dryer vent hose from Amazon. Now, those of you who know about dryers and plumbing or HVAC or what have you will be saying "well, that was stupid of you." Granted, but I didn't know, which is why I'm telling others so you won't make the same mistake.

My son was going to hook up the hose to the dryer since it's hard for me to get down on the floor. He came back and showed me the two tension clamps. Then he showed me the instructions, which say not to use the tension clamps that COME WITH THE PRODUCT but to instead obtain a 4" worm-drive clamp.

Pardon the caps-shouting, but...

IF YOU NEED A WORM-DRIVE CLAMP, WHY DO YOU NOT INCLUDE WORM-DRIVE CLAMPS WITH THE PRODUCT INSTEAD OF TENSION CLAMPS WHICH THE CUSTOMER IS THEN ADVISED NOT TO USE?????

We obtained the worm-drive clamp and I was feeling sassy or like having trouble getting off the floor or such, so while my son was napping, I plopped my ass down on the floor behind the dryer, trusty worm-drive clamp in hand, dryer hose at the ready.

Lo and behold, it says right there on the dryer:

DO NOT USE FOIL OR PLASTIC HOSES AS THEY MAY BE A FIRE HAZARD.

Crap...

I found this post from Pretty Handy Girl, which suggests using a semi-rigid metal duct for the optimum combination of safety, convenience, and cost-effectiveness. She also included the following video.




Yeah--I don't think so.

I'm returning this item immediately and giving it a one-star rating on Amazon. I'm obviously not providing an affiliate link, because I don't want you to burn down your home either. 

My son and I are going to hit up Home Depot to look at semi-rigid dryer ducts. 

~Cie the Ornery Old Lady~


Tuesday, November 26, 2019

10 Crockpot Recipes Under $5 - Easy Meals Your Family Will Love!

10 Crockpot Recipes Under $5 - Easy Meals Your Family Will Love!: 10 quick and easy crockpot recipes you can make for under $5! Just toss the ingredients into the crockpot in the morning for an easy meal at dinner time!

Carpe Diem #1787: Autumn Equinox


autumn equinox
blowing dry leaves in the wind
cold wind snaps up warmth

~Cie~

For Jane Reichhold
(1937 - 2016)


Monday, November 25, 2019

November PAD Chapbook Challenge 2019: Day 25: A Snarky Senryu: Thanksgiving

Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

time for Thanksgiving
happy holiday for some
not much for turkeys

~Cie~

Notes:
Today's November PAD Chapbook Challenge asked for a poem about a meal. If you're in the U.S., American Thanksgiving is coming up in two days, so I figured that was an appropriate meal to write a snarky Senryu about. 

Sunday, November 24, 2019

The Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp's Come As You Are Party + Ornery Musings: Why Book Reviews are Useful

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

As the late, great Shorty Medlocke used to say, howdy solks, I mean folks! If you don't know who Shorty Medlocke was, it's time for you to at the very least hit Wikipedia and brush up on your music history, and then go listen to some Blackfoot, where you can hear Shorty's grandson Rickey shred on some sadly underrated Southern rock masterpieces.

Sadly for you, this post is not about great blues musicians, twentieth-century radio hosts, or great guitarists. It's about book reviewers.

At the bottom of many posts, you will notice the image of a plump owl carrying a couple of books, one with a pentagram and one with an anarchist symbol. This owl is my alter-ego, my inner badass. Where I am infamous for apologizing for myself constantly and becoming defensive quickly, this owl never apologizes (unless she has actually done something wrong) and has no time for defensiveness. If she is under attack, she will fight back, but she doesn't harbor any of the insecurities that I do. Therefore, defensiveness is foreign to her. This owl is unapologetically, authentically herself.

Me, on the other hand, I tend to always wonder if I'm doing something (or anything) right. I am a horrible--I mean adorable--little (okay, large) bundle of insecurities. I have both physical and psychological disabilities, and I also have ADD and dyslexia. Dyslexia does not have only one manifestation, by the way. I read most things clearly, and I'm a relly gud spelur. My dyslexia tends to present itself with numbers more than words, and I have a great deal of trouble with tests involving pattern recognition, which led to me being labeled borderline retarded when I was in the sixth grade. That label was a thermonuclear hit to my already severely compromised self-esteem, particularly when one of my nastier classmates overheard my parents and the school psychologist discussing it in the hallway and proceeded to ask my father if I really was borderline retarded, to which he naively replied, "yes, I'm afraid so," rather than telling her to run along as he should have.

So, here I am in my fifties with a lifetime of abject failures behind me, disabled and living in poverty, and I review books for a living. Seriously, that is how I eke out a living, and sometimes I become rather cynical about it. Here I am, doing something completely useless yet again because being useless is my M.O. in life. I would do very poorly as something like a virtual administrative assistant or customer service agent. I have moderate anxiety about talking to people on the phone, and if I get bored, I get distracted. I would be fired from these jobs fairly quickly. However, I can read books. These days I prefer e-books because of my vision and because they don't take up space on my shelves. I also enjoy listening to audiobooks. 

Anyway, I possess the ability to read, opinions are like assholes, and I am an asshole with an opinion. So I sneaked in the back door at the Online Book Club and tried my hand at doing reviews for them. My first few reviews were unpaid, and then I started getting paid for my efforts. Doing reviews for paid review services like Online Book Club means that I can do reviews on request for independent authors without charging money. My costs for an independent review are as follows:

If the book is available on Amazon, you give me permission to have an affiliate link in my review post. You won't pay me a cent, but if someone buys the book through the link, Amazon will pay me a few cents.

If you like the review, you provide a link to it on social media.

You understand that providing me with a copy of your book does not guarantee a positive review. There may be reviewers who get their rocks off writing negative reviews and destroying authors' dreams. I am not one of them. I love giving positive reviews. With most of my less stellar reviews, I find that the problem with the book tends not to be the story itself, but the execution and lack of proper editing. By the way, I am also available as a beta reader.

Very rarely do I give scathing reviews. On the occasions that I have done so, it is because I find the author to be an odious jerk with awful opinions who targets vulnerable people for ridicule.

You may be saying (as I sometimes do), "well, that's all fine and good, Cie, but the world wouldn't stop turning if all the book reviewers were abducted by aliens. Book reviewers do not provide vital services such as emergency services personnel, medical personnel, construction workers, mechanics,  teachers, grocery clerks, customer service personnel, cleaning crews, or, pretty much anyone else provides. Reviewing books is fluffy stuff and isn't a real job. Like, you know, the kind of work that you claim you can't do anymore but probably could if you tried, and don't give me that 'but I can't walk very far or very fast, I can't stand up for long periods of time or my back will start hurting, or, but my diabetes fucks with me and starts making me weak and confused' bit!"

Well, you hopefully don't say that last part, but my inner voice is, not to put too fine a point on it, an absolute twat. Anyway, the overall gist is, most people find book reviewers to be non-essential members of society, and I sometimes feel angry at myself for doing a job that most people see as sprinkles on a cake, not even icing or pretty decorations, just sprinkles. The kind of sprinkles that come in a jar and you pay a couple bucks for them and you sprinkle them on your kid's birthday cake and it makes the kid happy. Except that I have the potential to make people's inner children unhappy with my words.

However, today I read a wonderful review from one of my fellow Online Book Club reviewers, and I would like to share that review and my thoughts on it with you. Please follow this link to read it.

Here is a copy of my comment for the reviewer:

Thank you for your lovely, descriptive review. I had tears in my eyes reading it. Although I grew up in a home with both parents present my family was inadvertently emotionally abusive and didn't understand someone like me at all as they were very perfectionistic and I had learning and psych issues (I have type 2 bipolar disorder that wasn't correctly diagnosed until I was almost 40.) I did a lot of the same things that Eva did, moving out with my now-ex-husband when I was 19, being divorced by 29, having a string of abusive relationships. I really appreciate reviews like yours which tell me everything I need to know about a book, even better than simply reading a sample. Have a good day.

Sometimes you can teach an old dog new tricks. While being a book reviewer is not an essential occupation such as those mentioned in the previous paragraph, nor is it a meaningless occupation. Too many bullies calling themselves critics have given a bad name to critiquing. A professional critic should endeavor to be kind, discussing the best aspects of a work while, if necessary pointing out areas needing improvement.

~Cie the Ornery Old Lady~


Free use image from Pixabay
Cie reviews books and is no longer ashamed to claim it as her profession.
She is also available as a beta reader


I'll bet that some of you would like to know which book I was referring to when praising my fellow reviewer. Well, now you know and can get yourself a copy! 
Disclosure: If readers purchase a copy of this book through the preview link, I receive a small commission from Amazon.


Saturday, November 23, 2019

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #110: Bush Warbler

Bush Warbler

A spring warbler casts
A dropping on the rice cakes —
The veranda edge.
I feed rice cakes to the birds
The earth drinking up my tea.

~Cie~





Ghost Town Grover Sez:
"I shore don't blame you, Ornery. I wouldn't wanna drink no tea that a bird pooped in neither."


Cactus Clem sez:
"Say, Ornery, you know that sun tea you was brewin' on the front porch? Well, I was kinda thirsty after my stroll on the Lone Prairie, and I done drank it all down. I don't think it had no bird poop in it, though, 'cause it had a cover on it and everything.


November PAD Chapbook Challenge Day 23: Dear Dryer Hose Manufacturer


Dear Dryer Hose Manufacturer,
In the box I found
A dryer hose
Two tension clamps
And instructions that told me
To not use the tension clamps
But instead, use two worm drive clamps
Not included in this box
Why would you do this?

~Cie~

Note:
Today's November PAD Chapbook Challenge prompt was to write an instructional poem. I re-interpreted the prompt in order to write a love letter about some very baffling instructions.

Friday, November 22, 2019

Carpe Diem #1785: Hoarfrost


an hoarfrost morning
the ghosts of my ancestors
drifting on chill winds

~Cie~



Notes:
I'm not entirely sure that this Haiku entirely plays by the classical rules. It doesn't lose its meaning for me when I flip the first and third lines, which is always the litmus test. However, for me the most important aspect of poetry is expressing the thought, not adhering to exact rules, so--you know me.

November PAD Chapbook Challenge 2019: Day 22: Mr. Perfect (Tanka)

Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

he's honed his image
everything is perfection
on point tip to toe
such a perfect gentleman
until he takes off the mask

~Cie~

Notes:
Today's November PAD Chapbook challenge asked for a poem about Mr. (blank). So I wrote about the kind of guy who has the perfect image but behind the mask lurks a monster. I've known a few of these guys.

I am finally caught up with the November PAD Chapbook Challenge prompts!