Saturday, June 29, 2019

Ornery Recipe Fails: Brown Lemonade and Dying Beets

This ain't how Ornery's lemonade looked.

Howdy Folks, it's yer old pal, Ghost Town Grover! Ya know, at first I wasn't too keen to have a bunch of live ones at the ole Grover Hotel, but now I'm pleased as punch that Ornery's son done took possession of the ole place and is aimin' to fix it up. Ornery says it's gonna be a while 'fore they can actually move in 'cause of all of the red tape with the historical people who's supposed to help 'em out with some money, but they's comin' up here tomorrow to install some sort of securing lights and put up some No Trespassing signs.
Anyway, I breezed on down to the ole townhouse in Denver to pay a visit, and I found Ornery mixin' up some lemonade. But this lemonade didn't look how lemonade ought.
"Ornery," I said, "I don't wanna be rude, but that there lemonade is brown."
"Yes, Grover, that's because I used coconut sugar," Ornery said.
"Well, does that make it taste better?" I asked. "'Cause it sure looks awful!"
"I don't know. I'll have to shake it up and see," Ornery said. "But coconut sugar is better for my diabetes than regular sugar because it has a lower glycemic impact."
"Ornery, I'm real sorry to hear you have dying beets," I said. "Say, just where at in the body is the beets? Is it one of them secret lady things that us men ain't supposed to ask about?"
"Grover, diabetes is the name of a disease," Ornery said. "It means I have a dead pancreas, so I have to inject insulin to make up for it."
"Well, I reckon I'm glad you got insulum to make up fer yer dead pancrees," I said. "Looks like yer lemonade's all shook up, Ornery. Bein' as I'm a gentleman, I'll let you go ahead an' taste it first."
Ornery tasted the brown lemonade and made a sour face.
"Well, Grover, coconut sugar doesn't really work too good in lemonade," she said. "I'll have to try another kind of sweetener."
"Aw, that's all right, Ornery," I said. "I'll take it home fer Cactus Clem. If I put a little of Cuzzin Hildy-Bob and Virgil-Joe's premium moonshine in it, that sucker won't care if it's made with ditch water!"
I left Ornery to try and get a few winks 'fore she picks up her car in the morning and heads over to the Home Dee-pot with her son to pick up them security lights fer the ole place. I'm sure lookin' forward to gittin' things spruced up 'round here!

Yer ole pal,
Ghost Town Grover





Friday, June 28, 2019

D'Verse Poets Open Link Night #246 + Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #91 Renga With (hineri) Sonora Desert



1. 
among dune grass
silver bleached logs
and a perfect day

among dune grass
if you blink, you will miss it
mouse peers from its home

silver bleached logs
blasted by sand, wind, and rain
beauty in harshness

and a perfect day
if perfection does exist
found in solitude

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

2. 
overcoming rocks
a stream of cacti
slowly spreading

overcoming rocks
taking root in barren soil
resilient plants

a stream of cacti
clandestine water vessels
ride the desert wave

slowly spreading
seeds take root across the dunes
carried on the wind


3. 
desert ways
branching all over
cholla cactus

desert ways
arid, harsh, unforgiving
to some, blessed home

branching up to the sky
reaching up to greet the sun
rooted deep in earth

cholla cactus
spines sparkling like gems in sun
don't try to pick me


Image by Mike Goad from Pixabay

4. 
alone and asking
to be touched
teddy bear cholla

alone and asking
thirsty for the rain to fall
the sun still beats down

to be touched
is a desire that ceases
when touch is cruel

teddy bear cholla
with spines that appear silky
not truly cuddly


Image by katja from Pixabay

5. 
writing
desert poems
pencil cholla

writing
salvation or damnation
release, obsession

desert poems
love the look of the desert
but can't stand the heat

pencil cholla
plucking a spine for a nib
words scrawled with my blood


Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

6. 
desert sunset
cholla cactus sticks
to the light

desert sunset
with night comes blessed coolness
nighttime desert song

cholla cactus sticks
daring passerby to touch
its tempting needles

to the light
shining from the moon above
nighttime creatures sing

~Jane & Cie~




Notes:
The "sleighs" of the Troiku in this Troiku Hineri were written by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The spiky Horses of the Apocalypse were wrangled by me.
I've been doing Troiku all month. These were supposed to be Renga. Yes, I know, I am bad at following instructions and I suck at my job. In other news, water is wet.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 19: Disappearing Pollinators


our world is poison
butterflies and bees vanish
a catastrophe

our world is poison
toxins in the air and soil
leech into water

butterflies and bees vanish
without our pollinators
we are truly lost

a catastrophe
the plants that we rely on
need pollinators

~Cie~


Note:
I am fully responsible for the Sleigh of Destruction and any Horses of the Apocalypse that may be pulling it.

Disclosure:
I earn a small commission from any products purchased from this grid. Proceeds go towards the renovation of the Grover Hotel. 


Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Don't Move, This is a Haibun! The Magic of the Prairie

Pawnee National Grasslands, Northeastern Colorado

Most folks will tell you that the prairie is boring, depressing, and certainly not a magical place.

The truth is, although the prairie may appear drab in comparison to more immediately impressive environs such as tall mountains, clear lakes, or beautiful beaches, it is a fascinating and adaptive setting which holds many wonderful stories and secrets.

Prairie grass is strong and resilient. It prevents erosion of the topsoil and can withstand long periods of dryness. It provides food and a home for many species of marvelous creatures.

beneath the surface
this drab land in its plain dress
full of surprises

~Cie~



Useful resources to learn about the North American grasslands.

Disclosure: 
If you purchase one of the books featured in this search, I will receive a small commission. Any commissions earned will be used to fund the restoration of the historic Grover Hotel, which is now proudly owned by my son. Grover is a very small town on the northeastern plains of Colorado.
To follow along with the project and for more about the various ventures of the Ornery Old Lady (me) and the wild cast of characters at the Grover Hotel and Ghostly General Store, please visit the Good Stuff From Grover blog.


The Ladies of the Grover Hotel Support Ravelry

Ramblin' Rosie and Lariat Larry
Copyright Graphic Mama Team on Pixabay


Nervous Ned and Darlin' Dolly
Copyright Graphic Mama Team on Pixabay


Sheriff Austin and Deputy Dallas
Copyright Graphic Mama Team on Pixabay

The good ole gals from the Ladies of the Grover Hotel and Ghostly General Store Club support the decision of the Ravelry crafting site to ban posts supporting Cheeto Stalin and his odious policies and behavior
We usually try to steer away from politickin' on this site (the Ornery Old Lady has a site devoted to politickin') but we wanted to declare our support for our fellow artisans in this important matter.
There has been a rise in tolerance for racist activity since the Orange Despot took office. We wish to make it clear that we do not support the Orange Despot and his hateful policies, the horrific treatment of Latino refugees being contained in crowded facilities with parents being separated from children, or this president's disdain for women, the working class, the disabled, and anyone who disagrees with him in the slightest. His is the behavior of a dictator, not an elected official in a democratic republic.
We stand against Cheeto Stalin's obvious admiration of and attempts to cozy up to dictators such as Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin.
This is not a matter of liberal versus conservative politics. This is a matter of rejecting a racist, sexist, immoral, and utterly unhinged demagogue.
We believe in truly making America great again: a great place for all its citizens, not only a soulless coalition of billionaires.

Monday, June 24, 2019

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 16: Heat Waves


heat waves
bringing to the desert
an ocean view

heat waves
like the sun fell down to earth
scorching the dry soil

bringing to the desert
heat too difficult to bear
if caught unaware

an ocean view
is very far from this place
with the burning ground

~Jane & Cie~


Notes:
The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The Three Horses of Hell were summoned by me.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Haikai Challenge #91: Midsummer Rain


On the return drive
From a life-changing journey
Drops became torrent

~Cie~

Prompt Used:

Notes:
Today the final decision was made and my son and his dad agreed to close on the historic Grover Hotel. Make sure to follow along with our journey in renovating this one-of-a-kind building!

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 12: White Valley Clouds


after the rain
breathing deeply
white valley clouds

after the rain
not so much rain as spatters
it's still much too hot

breathing deeply
inhale the worry and fear
future uncertain

white valley clouds
seem to smirk at each other
telling lies of rain

Jane & Cie



Notes:
The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The Three Horses of the Apocalypse are my doing--or possibly undoing.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #89: Extreme Haibun: Is It Too Much to Ask For Rain?


“Is it too much to ask for it to rain?” I ask as I spend another summer steeped in sweat.

Yet I remember the year when the flood came, another year when I often asked: “is it too much to ask for it to rain?”

I remember the wave slamming into the side of my car, the terror as I wondered if I would be swept away into a field which had become a choppy lake.

I did not ask for it to rain for a long time after that.

when something well-loved
becomes a thing of terror
everything changes

~Cie~


Image from the Longmont Times-Call

Notes:
For those who are prone to questioning my veracity, the story related above is 100% true and I had PTSD following the incident. One of the ways in which this affected me is making me unable to write for a long time. People lost their lives during this flood, and I didn't know why I wasn't one of them. I've never done anything which I believe makes me worthy of continued survival, and yet, like toenail fungus, I persist in hanging around long past my sell-by date.

Friday, June 14, 2019

The Ornery Old Lady's Poetry Tea Room

Image by Thought Catalog from Pixabay
Ornery oughta know better than to leave flowers sittin' 'round. Her cats will eat 'em and barf all over.

Howdy folks! Y'all might have noticed that sometimes Ornery posts poetry on this here website. Now, I don't know too much about poetry. I know I like that there rhyme about not bein' buried on the lone prairie and that song about Darlin' Clementine, and Cactus Clem tole me a rhyme about a feller from Nantucket, but I can't repeat the rest of that one or y'all might smack me.
Gettin' things up to snuff at the ole homestead is gonna cost a purty penny and it's gonna take a while. Ornery is workin' with the state historical society to try and get some grants to make the good ole hotel fit fer human occupation. The ole gal has ideas fer sellin' lots of stuff, and one of the things she's decided to sell is books of her poetry.
Ornery's poetry is sometimes...well, really ornery. But it's usually more fit fer those with tender sensibilities than them raunchy tales she's part and parcel to over at the Naughty Netherworld Press Peep Show. I know Cactus Clem would like them stories, but I ain't sure the sucker kin read.
Anyways, Ornery reckons she kin put out a poetry book a few times a year, and any money she makes from her poetry goes straight to fixin' up the ole hotel! With the repairs that needs to be made to bring things up to code, it's probably gonna be at least six months till Ornery and her son kin move in. 
Once Ornery's livin' here, she wants to have a monthly poetry readin' and tea in the kitchen. I hope she finds some folks who want to join her an' buy some of her and her son's work. I might even wanna join in, and I promise I won't recite that there rhyme about the feller from Nantucket and his formidable trouser trout.

Yer ole pal,
Ghost Town Grover




Thursday, June 13, 2019

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 10: Moonlit Night

First Steam Train

the wild geese take flight
low along the railroad tracks
in the moonlit night

the wild geese take flight
under the serene moonlight
fly above it all

low along the railroad tracks
dipping down close to the ground
sense of adventure

in the moonlit night
they worry about nothing
flying in their peace

~Shiki & Cie~


Note:
The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Masaoka Shiki (1867 - 1902). The three "horses" were imagined by me.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 8: Spiderweb


Spiderweb anchored
To a tree, a bush, the ground
Centered spiral shines

spiderweb anchored
strong and yet so delicate
what will it capture

to a tree, a bush, the ground
merely a decoration
a lovely accent

centered spiral shines
luring its unwitting prey
the danger revealed

~Calvin & Cie~


Note:
The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Calvin Olson. The Three Horses of the Apocalypse can be blamed on me.

Monday, June 10, 2019

The Ornery Old Lady's Recipe Book: Poke Cake


Hey folks, its yer ole pal Ghost Town Grover here. The Ornery Old Lady and her son are comin' to meet that fancy Structural Engineer feller here at the hotel on Wednesday. Until they're livin' here, I've been makin' a habit of hitchin' a ride on one of them eighteen-wheeler horseless covered wagons to visit 'em down in Denver.
Ornery is kinda dense sometimes. See, you'd reckon since she's knowed her son fer 29 years, she'd know he likes his cake pretty straightforward. Still, she went and asked him if he'd rather have a plain ole raspberry poke cake without no frosting or berries, or if he wanted to wait till she could go to the store and buy some Cool Whip and berries. 
Well, Sonny looked at Ma like maybe she left her brain out in the sun and told her to make the plain poke cake without no Cool Whip or fruit or none of that fancy stuff.
I'm gonna turn the reins over to Ornery now so's she can tell you all about poke cakes.




~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, dear visitors!
I'm the Ornery Old Lady. You can call me Cie or you can call me Ornery, but don't call me late for dinner--or dessert.
Poke Cakes are one of my favorite fall-back recipes. All you need is a cake mix and the necessary items to make it: eggs or egg substitute, water or milk (nut milk or coconut milk is fine), and oil, butter, or margarine. You will also need a four-serving box of flavored gelatin.
Make the cake following the recipe on the box. There's a little trick I like to use to make my cakes turn out moist. Use one more egg than called for on the box. Use melted butter or margarine instead of cooking oil. I just put the stick of butter or margarine in a big mug and melt it for 1 1/2 minutes at 50% power. Use milk (or nut milk) instead of water for extra richness and flavor. 
If you or someone in your family is allergic to eggs, Ener-G egg substitute works wonderfully. I keep a box on hand just in case I run out of eggs. I'm hoping to get a couple of hens once we're established in the Grover Hotel. Then we'll have at least a couple of fresh eggs a day!
Once the cake is baked, heat a cup of water to boiling. I find that two minutes in a 1000-watt microwave is adequate. Poke holes in the cake using the handle of a mixing spoon. I usually poke 24 holes (4 columns of 8) in a 13 x 9 cake.
When the water has boiled, pour it over the gelatin. Whisk for 1 to 2 minutes until fully dissolved. Pour over the top of the cake.
Let the cake cool for an hour. Frost and decorate if desired, or, if you're a plain cake kind of person like my son, just cut and eat.


I've always had to work in teeny-tiny apartment kitchens. I'm looking forward to working in this big, open kitchen. The stove is actually fairly new. We're planning to have a vent installed over it rather than having to open the kitchen window in -20-degree weather to let out the smoke when cooking hamburgers indoors.
Although my new kitchen is going to inspire me to try my hand at new and different recipes, I still intend to keep cake mixes and flavored gelatin on hand for those times when no-one feels like doing a whole lot of work but folks are craving dessert. 
Have fun trying different flavor combinations with your poke cakes! This easy favorite dessert is loved by everyone from kids to ornery old folks!
Check out Grover's General Store at the end of the post for cake mixes, flavored gelatin, and kitchen gadgets. I hope to get a set of nice glass cake pans in the not too distant future!

~Cie~



Monday, June 3, 2019

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 2: My Native Town

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

my native town
far, far away--
burgeoning trees.

my native town
i never fit anywhere
and now i must go

far, far away--
i make a new life happen
i will still see you

burgeoning trees
buffeted by prairie wind
my new home is here

Santoka Taneda & Cie


Notes:
The Sleigh portion of the Troiku was created by Santoka Taneda (3 December 1882 - 11 October 1940). The three "horses" were created by me.
I was born in Denver, Colorado on 15 February 1965. My parents were actually living in Laramie, Wyoming at the time. I was born in the middle of a blizzard at 6 A.M. and have caused nothing but trouble ever since.
After my brother was born on 17 March 1969, my parents moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico so my father could finish his doctorate. We lived in a rundown house in a bad part of town. There were fire ants, black widow spiders, and cockroaches the size of school buses. However, we had a half acre of land and were allowed to have chickens. We planted corn and beans. There were horned toads and skinks. The neighbor had pheasants and bees. He was an okay guy who pretty much kept to himself. His wife was a fire-and-brimstone Fundamentalist who called me a filthy slut for taking my shirt off on a hot day. I was four years old at the time.
A New Mexico accent is similar to a Texas accent, and when we moved back to Colorado when I was ten years old, all the other kids ridiculed the way I talked. I was already shy, and this led to me becoming even more withdrawn. I always hated school. I was never well-liked or anything even in the same zip code as popular. To this day, I still hate the sound of my own voice and I hate when people ask the innocent question of "where are you from?" My knee-jerk reaction is to answer "Mars," because I've never felt like I belonged on this planet.
Many, many years later, I live in the suburbs of Denver, but it costs too much to keep living there. Denver is one of those cities whose working classes can't afford to live there. A condo or small townhouse in Denver costs around $250,000, and then the owner still has to pay HOA fees which average $600 per month in the Denver area. The average salary for someone in the working classes in the Denver area is $12 per hour. See how that doesn't add up?
For someone who is disabled, things are even worse. There is a waiting list to even be considered for subsidized housing. The homeless population is growing by leaps and bounds. Even a modest apartment is out of reach for people in the working class.
Thus, people in the working class are moving out of cities like Denver to rural areas. If they continue working in Denver, they have a long commute. If they are unable to continue working, they end up on the dole. 
My son and I are moving to Grover, which is approximately 110 miles northeast of Denver. He has a modest amount of money being given to him by his father following the sale of farmland. This money allows for the purchase of a six-bedroom historic hotel and renovations on said structure. Property taxes in this area are low. The average person living in this area falls below the median income for the state and many fall below the poverty line. My son and I are among the people who fall below the poverty line. We are both disabled and neither of us can work conventional jobs.
Moving to this place is a risk but also an opportunity. 
It is also our last hope.
Here's to Grover, my last stop on the journey, and possibly the first place I'll truly feel I can call home.
Join us for updates and other curiosities at the Good Stuff From Grover site!


Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 1: Unexpected Guests

Image by Jody Davis from Pixabay

gathering flowers
unexpected guests
come to dinner

gathering flowers
to put on the graves
of the departed

unexpected guests
hungry ghosts here now
wanting their dinner

come to dinner
you cannot complain
you gave no warning

~Jane & Cie~



Notes:
The "sleigh" part of the Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The three "horses" were created by me.
For some reason, the line about gathering flowers reminded me of the spooky short story "The Hills Beyond Furcy" by Robert G. Anderson, so what followed was a story of uninvited ghosts.
I'm dedicating this poem to my pal Ghost Town Grover, who resides at the Grover Hotel where my son and I will be moving once the venerable old structure is up to code. If you'd like to follow along with our misadventures and maybe lend a little support to our efforts to renovate this historic building, visit us at the Good Stuff from Grover blog!

Saturday, June 1, 2019

The Ornery Old Lady's Baked Cheese Sandwiches


Howdy Friends! Tonight I decided maybe I oughta go check on the Ornery Old Lady and her son, so I hopped me a ride on one of them big eighteen wheeler horseless carriages and popped in to visit the old gal. 
Them eighteen wheelers shore is a fast ride. Trouble is, you never know what kinda music yer gonna git. I like me two kinds of music: country and western, and I can handle a little bit of rock and/or roll if its the right kind. But when it comes to hip and/or hop, them suckers cuss way too much, and that there metal stuff sounds like an ole panther fightin' with a werewolf. 
I didn't come here to talk about music, though. I came to talk about the ornery old lady and her baked cheese sammiches.
When I strolled into Ornery's place, she was standin' by the stove butterin' slices of bread and puttin' 'em on what looked like a big ole sheet of plastic on top of a pan.
"Ornery," I said, "Y'all don't wanna put that there plastic in the oven. It'll melt all over and ruin yer sammiches."
"Grover, this isn't plastic," Ornery answered back. "This here is silicone, and it's made to go in the oven. The food doesn't stick to it, and it's easy to clean up."
"Well, if that don't beat all!" I said. "Y'all oughta tell folks about this here silly-comb! Bet it costs an arm and a leg, though."
"Not at all, it's pretty cheap," Ornery said. "I'll put a link at the end of the post."
Ornery had eight bread slices on the silly-comb mat and she stood there starin' at 'em kinda confused.
"Ornery, is somethin' troublin' you?" I asked.
"Well, Grover, I want to make four sandwiches, but I've got eight slices of bread here," said Ornery.
"Well you want four slices fer the bottom and four slices fer the top," I said. "Ornery, yer 'rithmetic skills could use some help. Maybe y'all need to git an abacab. I had an abacab when I was in school, and it shore helped me a lot! So, what kinda sammiches are you makin' here?"
"Toasted cheese sandwiches," Ornery said. "They're real easy to make."

How to make the Ornery Old Lady's favorite toasted cheese sandwiches:

Put butter or margarine around the edges of all your bread slices.
Put two or three slices of cheese on each bread slice.
Put the bread slices with cheese into a 400-degree oven and cook them for 5 minutes.
Take the pan out of the oven, and put the top slice of bread on the sandwiches.
Flip the sandwiches over, and toast in the 400-degree oven for another 5 minutes.
Now you've got the perfect toasted cheese sandwich.
I like cooking my toasted cheese sandwich this way instead of in a skillet because you don't have to watch the sandwiches to make sure they aren't burning. You just set the timer for 5 minutes per side.

"Ornery, that's really swell!" I said. "I hate to eat and run, but I left Cactus Clem in charge back at the Hotel, an' you know what a prickly sucker he can be when he's had a few!"
Anyways, Folks, I've gotta head on back home 'fore Clem gets his fool self thrown in the clink fer doin' a stick-up. Make sure to check out the good deals Ornery's got for you at the bottom of the post!

Yer ole pal,
Ghost Town Grover


With Cactus Clem

Image copyright Clipart Vectors

Buying products through my links and searching through the search boxes helps fund the Grover Hotel Project!